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BEAU
THUNDERCLAN / TOM CAT / COWBOY TENDENCIES
this was something foreign to him. to be around so many cats at once, with so many different scents. it was a lot. almost too much. but it boiled down to one thing for him, he had no where else to go. as much as he was never around so many, he had never been by himself, and the little bit of time he spent all by his lonesome didn't feel great. it was like a darkness all the time, followed by constricting pain in his chest. panic attacks. he never had them before that day, but now he had them often enough to worry. still, he did not let it on that he was pretty freaked out about the world beyond his little farm. he missed his dad. he hadn't known his real dad, at all, as he was taken away from him and his mom. he was sad at first, but the human that replaced his real family was so great to him.. and he couldn't find him. guilt. that's what he felt. why did he survive all of this? and why couldn't his dad? he could not even definitively say that he was dead but he spent so long looking for him before his farm crumbled to the ground. and then he left.
he did not feel good about leaving either. his friend, though the cat did not have any name, was still at his farm, right? and if he came to visit him... would he assume the worst? would he think that beau was dead because he couldn't find him? shame. he should have just stayed behind. he should have just waited. but he couldn't. he spent a lot of days alone, until he found this place. maybe it had been about two weeks, and he was settling in. clans were a lot different than the life he had previously lived, but it was okay. he had to overcome and adapt, and he did not want to burden literally anyone with his problems. they seemed so small, even if they weren't. he stood outside of the warrior's den, his tail tip flicking back and forth. he was allowed to stay here, though he had no real rank. he was just trying to find his footing.
he did not feel good about leaving either. his friend, though the cat did not have any name, was still at his farm, right? and if he came to visit him... would he assume the worst? would he think that beau was dead because he couldn't find him? shame. he should have just stayed behind. he should have just waited. but he couldn't. he spent a lot of days alone, until he found this place. maybe it had been about two weeks, and he was settling in. clans were a lot different than the life he had previously lived, but it was okay. he had to overcome and adapt, and he did not want to burden literally anyone with his problems. they seemed so small, even if they weren't. he stood outside of the warrior's den, his tail tip flicking back and forth. he was allowed to stay here, though he had no real rank. he was just trying to find his footing.
