Astralis Frontier

Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

A semi-AU, semi-realistic Warrior Cats RPG based off of the books by Erin Hunter

Switch Accounts

Switch Accounts


Discord Server


    Titans Rising: Curse of Olympus (Feedback please?)

    Azymondias
    Azymondias

    Posts : 9
    Join date : 2021-02-10

    Titans Rising: Curse of Olympus (Feedback please?) Empty Titans Rising: Curse of Olympus (Feedback please?)

    Post by Azymondias Sat Feb 13, 2021 10:24 am

    Overall story idea (long):

    Im trying to get feedback from as many sources as i can before i continue writing my fanfic.



    So we know the titans had kids; Atlas had Zoe; Helios had Phaëton, Kronos even had a few kids. Well my story is a few years after the events of PJO. The main characters are gone; not dead but like just not really apart of the story anymore. I was thinking of Kiya being a child of Kronos; done while Kronos was in posession of Luke only as a failsafe; Kronos thought in the event of his defeat his demi-titan child would collect his essences that had scattered. So he would use the child as a new host. However Kiya gets to camp half-blood first. And to protect her Posideon claims her; but some people start noticing small details that don't make sense. She prefers not to eat nectar/ambrosia as she is super sensitive to it, it can more often then not make her ill, and she shows no sign of Posideons powers.

    I was thinking her sensitivity to the godly food would be because in the story's universe this isn't the first time Kronos sired a demi-titan; a long time ago he tried to over throw the gods and have a mortal host that was able to eat the godly food normally. But the gods defeated Kronos and destroyed the titan lords first half-blood and cursed any half-blood of Kronos (in this universe the curse would affect Chiron too) to be sensitive to the food. Thats why Chiron took up herblore to learn of other ways to heal wounds besides the godly food and Kiya would rely on potions made by the hecate kids.

    Anyway so Kiya gets to camp; finds out that shes super sensitive to godly food; and she is still under Posideons claim. Well I was thinking in dreams she would see memories of the others that held Kronos's powers snippets of memory from the first demi-titan to Luke; and it would freak her out. She goes to the oracle for advice and comes back with a prophecy; and when she keeps it secret Ty (Hephaetus kid from chapter 1) argues with her and thats when her powers first show. She slows time; her eyes change brown to gold, and she panics breaking the spell but Ty isn't quite sure what happened. (As Im sure Kronos isn't very popular as a discussion topic after the war) Kiya goes to Chiron and explains things and Chiron knows what she is but keeps quiet as the Gods want to see what she does. She goes on the quest with Ty; refusing to take a third person as it was bad enough she almost hurt ty (in her head).

    Other points I'm thinking of adding:


    • I was also toying with the idea that maybe apart of Luke attached himself to Kiya as he was Kronos's host and maybe he can't achieve rebirth until Kiya makes her final choice as a last "quest" for Luke he sometimes offers Kiya advice or something.
    • A Thalia cameo; that triggers a dream/vision from Luke to Kiya about the day that Thalia became a tree.
    • And I was thinking the more she used her powers the stronger the visions in the dream got. To where at one point she dreams of the sarcophagus; dreams of her father speaking to her; wanting her to use her strengthened abilities to destroy the gods. And that would be the turning point. Side with her father and take his throne or the gods and do whats right morally. (nature vs nurture)



    And theres loads more I could type but this is already long enough and i don't want to overload people with info.

    Titans Rising: Curse of Olympus
    The first few chapters were written on a phone with little to no formatting now that my laptops fixed I plan on doing longer better formatted chapters.


    _________________
    Dragon Prince of Xadia; frequents the interwebs of discord; feel free to pm!
    ghost
    ghost
    Moderator

    Posts : 102
    Join date : 2020-09-17
    Age : 22

    Titans Rising: Curse of Olympus (Feedback please?) Empty Re: Titans Rising: Curse of Olympus (Feedback please?)

    Post by ghost Sat Feb 13, 2021 8:18 pm

    Haven’t read through the overall story idea yet cause I need to refresh my PJO know-how, but I did just finish what’s posted of the fic. Thoughts insofar:

    Kiya has a fun personality. The first chapter establishes her as someone who is cagey, skipping over the details of what has led her into the circumstances of living in the woods. Is it for the sake of brevity that this is skipped over, or is it that this is something that is hard for her to think about, so she would rather not dwell on it?

    I have to wonder if Kiya is a reliable narrator— she assures the reader that nobody died in the chem lab incident, and continues on with the fact that is all the audience needs to know about it. It could be a lie, or the fact that no one died could be being used to cover up that something did happen. Was someone injured by the explosion, was someone permanently scarred?

    What strikes me about Kiya is that it isn’t the reaction of others towards her that she fears— she is not afraid of being seen as a freak or as dangerous— instead she has already internalize these thoughts about herself. She IS dangerous, and it is for the safety of others that she keeps to herself, living on the fringes of society and stealing only when necessary, otherwise providing for herself using what is available.

    The ‘Rule #9’ bit tells me she is someone who prefers to be prepared. Did something happen while she was in the woods that could have been prevented if she had a knife on her in the moment, or is it that she thinks things through in advanced and didn’t need to learn things the hard way? Still, leaving her life behind once because of a potentially dangerous event at school speaks of a certain amount of spontaneity, even if it is a spontaneity born of desperation.

    Once more she leaves her previous life behind: this time it is the life she had built for herself in the woods, and once more this life-changing decision is spurred on by danger: a hellhound. From what she says in later chapters, we know that Kiya hadn’t had a great home life when she was still in society, and I can only imagine living in the woods would be challenging to say the least. Both are lives that probably wouldn’t be too hard to leave behind, all things considered, but what always fascinates me most about characters are their flaws, and with this information I must wonder if this is a pattern for her.

    She doesn’t strike me as someone who views greener pastures over the next hill, but she does strike me as someone who is willing to get into a sinking boat if it means getting out of the water. This may not be a fair assessment as I don’t know her as a character yet, but if it is a flaw of hers that she avoids her problems and in doing so, creates new ones, then it would be satisfying to see her eventually come to the point where she can confront that.

    Ty and Aaron are both good deuteragonists and I can see them being good foils for one another. I’ll need to reread the fic to get a better feel for their characters as I was focused on Kiya for this read through, but first impression wise Ty strikes me as incredibly troubled but good-hearted, while Aaron is personable but guarded.


    _________________
    Azymondias
    Azymondias

    Posts : 9
    Join date : 2021-02-10

    Titans Rising: Curse of Olympus (Feedback please?) Empty Re: Titans Rising: Curse of Olympus (Feedback please?)

    Post by Azymondias Sun Feb 14, 2021 5:20 pm

    Added chapter 8 to the fanfic


    _________________
    Dragon Prince of Xadia; frequents the interwebs of discord; feel free to pm!
    Azymondias
    Azymondias

    Posts : 9
    Join date : 2021-02-10

    Titans Rising: Curse of Olympus (Feedback please?) Empty Re: Titans Rising: Curse of Olympus (Feedback please?)

    Post by Azymondias Thu Feb 18, 2021 10:34 pm

    Chapter 9 is up!


    _________________
    Dragon Prince of Xadia; frequents the interwebs of discord; feel free to pm!

    Sponsored content

    Titans Rising: Curse of Olympus (Feedback please?) Empty Re: Titans Rising: Curse of Olympus (Feedback please?)

    Post by Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Tue Mar 02, 2021 8:15 am